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Dear “Dave”,

I’ll be brief.

I’m obligated to thank you for your letter. So, thanks. Thank you for looking up at us long enough or often enough to notice, I suppose. But if we clouds have offended, know this, that what you saw was but a finger for a moment. Bodiless, we are also fingerless, and if you can’t move past a middle finger in the sky, I suppose you might have bigger problems. We have checked our records and identified the offending cloud. It was a young ambitious stratocumulus who now shades Kansas steer. We had to show it a picture of the shape it made and explain its implication. It took the news hard. It has been weeping for days. But our records also indicate some marvelous shapes made in that same area and time. Did you not see the turtle on its back or the balloon with the miles-long string? There was a perfect molar over Queens.

There was no need for exclamation points. I understand you’re upset. But I do need to say one more thing. We clouds lack all control. We have our matter, yes, but the wind is our mold. I suggest that the next time you look up and see a cloud doing something displeasing, you send your letter to the department of wind. I wish you luck with that.

Sincerely,